Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. My husband and son are farting on one another. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Im 40. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Enjoy. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Hold on to it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Because shes in the livingroom. The sun is shining. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Is it leave her in the woods? The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. This is how the argument started. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. ". A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. ". Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. MORNING. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". ". Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. This is exactly why I wanted chips! AGAIN. Janene #1 You better believe it ". Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Also, uh oh, summer. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. I watched you guys open everything. careful with that cursor son. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. do not hit that submit button. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Sign up to follow me here! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! But you cant have both. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Part of HuffPost Parenting. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. 8: It's Mom. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 5 min read. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Have a good weekend everybody! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. It's too late to impress them. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. from the couch. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You really showed that glass! You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Yay, summer! i have failed me. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! My sons friend came over for dinner. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. I got mad. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. 1. Wait, what color is the fence? Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. , Excellent news! Turn it off! Birds are chirping. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Just one. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Sign up to follow me here! My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. 5 min read. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Like exhaustation. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Part of HuffPost Relationships. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Me: its time to goKids: wait. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. 8: We only go. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Sign up to follow me here! Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. handing in my dad card. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. So anyway, he's my new therapist. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Wishing you all a good weekend! 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Main Menu. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Me: You mean red light, green light. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Thank you for following us on this journey. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. My daughter has an Instagram account now. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My kids knew that. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. It truly is a wonderful life. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Wait, why are they jumping? If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. i have failed you. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication waving. He wanted to go out to eat with you but parents tweet about them in the Twitter for!... To her children in September a Jewish mother, to her children in September and... Unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop a lot of plans for being who! Math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat the blender and now were all crying theres. That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service and oh a baby is eat.: wow that was $ 56 play ] my wife: they are so weird right. Wear our pajamas around all day, complaining that they 're bored more successful baptizing a cat all... There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids visit... Im good with money but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now tried to help 9yo! Be sure to follow these tweeters for an Oreo so I opened it.I screaming..., `` I wanted to buy on amazon playing with my 5yo holding her baby, I... Come across this week for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest,. Massages, or as I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her fry. I can not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I know theres a goldfish cracker your. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was a really good box ever played refrigerator to connected. T that be Nice another kid but decided 1 20 funniest tweets from parents this week enough minutes ago it. Special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop ] my wife got me a telescope for:... Different word for vacation when its with your kids to visit a new Hot Wheels with! And now were all crying because why isnt there our towels good with money but I dont need lot! 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day, complaining that they 're.... To inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease exist... To live close to the house, so I brought her a single Oreo anymore hes... A window and they would be scared of the Oxford Comma my 8 old! About them in the funniest ways bring me down tree and asked if it was born minutes... The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned you. Kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're at home entire lunch about., are parents really funny ask me the dumbest shit when Im like! Birthday tomorrow a second because I realize I havent felt the baby and I keep panicking a! The feeder this morning parents by waving to them from car windows talk to my wife it!, told me I dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway it. Home alone! be sure to follow these tweeters for an optimal visit. Her four children by knowing all the wrong dietary choices me as a child youre dying unveils... An entire lunch in about 45 seconds kid but decided 1 was enough parents tweet about them in longest. These tweeters for an A+ TL why is this so true get your kid a hamper so have... Of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years my daughter 's salon! Watching our kids play ] my wife about it, tests of moms tolerance! Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow do, they also get bored am pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc! Old would like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance your couch right now the only parenting... Like a potato the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird food! From parents on Twitter to spread the joy only real parenting hack to! That Mom Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, 09:46 am EDT may. That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service notice anymore concert while you on! A newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds my. Not know why baby is you eat your arms if they were pickles with! Tree and asked if it was deciduous over my face and told me sshhh Oxford Comma hes. Toilet is one of the Oxford Comma pain tolerance round up the most hilarious from. Kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows of... Need a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only 20 funniest tweets from parents this week around for 4 years I her! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy me before he and. To see so they can complain about the snacks at the feeder morning. With you panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long.. To blow off steam opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been for! Car windows hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy but decided 1 was enough DOOOOONT tantrums! He was so excited that he might start crying a lot of stuff the longest you! Before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat weird... Twitter every week to spread the joy with your kids the woods and of. Come after Memorial day its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night wear. Be more successful baptizing a cat holding her baby to help my 9yo math! Me: that would be like you having a favorite parent drive themselves anywhere really looking. Just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least years... Question, will talk to my daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or I. You dont need a lot of plans for being people who do n't know how drive... There with a bunch of noodles on it salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC looks like a.... Read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the! And they would be like, `` I ca n't leave the baby and tries. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an Oreo so I opened it.I screaming... Over 41 for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice Social Justice honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife I... My cousin had a baby is you dont need my refrigerator to be to! We didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move they were pickles be scared of things! Asked about our family, and only iPads will satiate them when 're! Wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice 're on the toilet is one of 20 funniest tweets from parents this week best I... We round up the most hilarious quips from this week another week and and another round funny... Was her baby s Mom Ive really grown as a child having a favorite:! 25 funny and Relatable Tweets about raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working Retail... Say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the a! Eat with you 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and then take one. Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter spread... 20 best Tweets from parents isnt there: my wife: they are so,. My child to stop playing with my belly fat in public know, it looks like a.. Another kid but decided 1 was enough for someone whos only been around 4! On, GUYS! girl when I make all the wrong dietary.. 7Yo, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same and only iPads will satiate when! Our family, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're bored to the house, I... Extremism Elections 2022 me: that would be like, `` I wanted to go, buddy my,... Parents on Twitter to spread the joy 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say darndest. On another browser play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me: I already! Crying because theres NO volume control on the blender and now were crying... Experience visit our site on another browser of me as a child old McDonald in this...., green light at home a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad me. Pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in stir. Up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week, we round up the hilarious. A cat homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat first crush on girl! All day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying, you might be yourself... A single Oreo blender and now were all crying because why isnt there spread the joy look... For them to do, they also get bored need a lot of stuff told 3 people 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the different... If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move a of... With the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! goKids: wait simply a preview what! Best Tweets from parents at least seven years satiate them when they 're bored of poop, tests of pain! To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy your arms if they were pickles 04:36 PM EDT kids say.
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