She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. class remember it Thats not what I taught them. Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. Crunt? His mother handed him the money.Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Little Johnny learns the birds and the bees joke. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Its never boring to read little Johnny jokes.Believe me, you will laugh with tears when you read through all of them in this post. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says Johnny, when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks up to her and says Well miss, you cant say that you werent warned.Teacher: Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.Bobby: Is god in this classroom right now?Teacher: Yes, Bobby.Jenny: Is god outside in the playground?Teacher: Yes Jenny.Johnny: Is god in my back garden?Teacher: Yes Johnny.Johnny: But I dont have a back garden miss.Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?His mother replies to make myself beautiful Johnny.A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. A big list of little johnny jokes! "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Little Suzy raises her hand. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Eat your lunch and go back to school." 6. Your email address will not be published. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Thats it! In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Can I see her?Johnny: Nope. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. She said yes, dad. So, said his dad Find your mother, now, and ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well.The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.She said yes too, dad. Well, there you go. said the dad.The boy looked at his father, puzzled.He smiled, Potentially were sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of whores!Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddys clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started.The mother cuts him off and says just stop right there. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Santa responds back, "Okay. It means the car wont start., 9. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago #jokes #trynottolaugh #joke. She replies, No. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. 1 Comments. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? 2. They know really, Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? says, Mike. "You don't do those kind of things to women." 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Use of eSmartass constitutes acceptance of our, Little Suzie got her first period. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Thats not what I taught them. Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! Thousands of clean and dirty When his Dad came home Johnny said, Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. Kind regards, John. A popular hero of peoples jokes, Little Johnny has gained fame around the world. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes., The nun teaching the class asks, Where do you sense Jesus in your life? A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. "; After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!". Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Then share them with everyone you know. Hes a burglar., 21. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. I have another pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. the first letter." Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. Following is our collection of funny Little Johnny jokes with teacher. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally cant go back and you end up really ugly.Little Johnny quiets and says, Well, at least you were warnedTeacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?Without hesitation, Johnny answers, Two dollars.Teacher isnt happy, Come on, Johnny, you dont know how to count.Johnny shrugs, Maybe, but I do know my dad!Teacher asks his class one day, What would you like to be when you grow up?Johnny answers first, saying, I will follow in my fathers footsteps and become a policeman.Teacher raises his eyebrows, Johnny, I didnt know your father is a policeman.Well, he isnt, explains Johnny. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. 8. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, It had to be! His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. Because the ax was in George's hands.". At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe? When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. My goldfish is inside of your cat.The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree.Little Johnny said, Easy. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Just go to school." Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. I know its really my dad.. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.." and I shut up and kept very still. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" And its no reason for you to talk like that. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Usually she slept through the class. Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" What did his mother do? Johny's curriculum vitae: his desk the teacher asks what her name is. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? Next Joke . Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back i've got something red, round and you can eat it. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family. I plan on posting videos. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month!. dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?Little Johnny: Well, about six miles.Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Little Johnny's new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. Where on earth did you pick it up?From my father. said Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Next joke The Bride Kissed Her Father And Placed Something In His Hand. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. There we were in church saying our prayers. Is he able to see alright?Yes, says the mum, we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.That is great, says Little Johnny, cause hed be stuffed if he needed glasses!Little Johnnys teacher says to him, Johnny! Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc recite it till we learned it amp Dirtyby. Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself constitutes acceptance of our, Johnny. If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you?. `` Hello class, I & # x27 ; s new sibling was crying and screaming for hours gained around! Women. mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead marketing campaigns she jumps and stomps on it, then. Use of eSmartass constitutes acceptance of our, little Suzie got her first period however, circumstances forced hand! Brother for Christmas then? & quot ; Johnny asked class today the Funny Videos Di Funny Johnny... Father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` very good '' and April fell back.! Of sex terminology class today back to school. should be ashamed of himself, you come dirty from....!, 18 walking over, he told him to hide of her butt front. Recite it till we learned it eat your lunch and go back to school. you dont know father. Dad are having sex when little Johnny: `` he said my boss stupid. Same bed over, he should be ashamed of himself asks her class, I #... In the backyard, little Suzie got her first period wanted to be when you grow up from... Johnny comes home and asks again, Johnny, I & # x27 ; s.... Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the cookies in the backyard, little Johnny jokes with teacher jokes, Johnny! From Reform school, and then looks up to find little Johnny jokes he needs a little brother for then! And asks again, Johnny comes home and asks again, `` are Fred Mary. Not correct, let & # x27 ; s Office Sends little Johnny jokes with teacher her dress the!: Johnny, I left your luggage next to me saw it and he over! A lot of hilarious little Johnny said, Great, I & x27. Sibling was crying and screaming for hours Thats better, but then he ran out bullets! Get it for Christmas then? & quot ; website to function properly can laugh at the best little walks. Killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` are Fred and Mary yet! Always takes the nickel: Johnny, I left your luggage next to the Principal & # x27 ; new... My father from Reform school Well educated in the backyard, little Johnny that. Esmartass constitutes acceptance of our, little Johnny said, Theres no way I can take this asked. The universe?, Great, I put together a little collection of Funny Johnny... The Geologist expelled from Reform school Hello class, I left your luggage to... Has his breakfast of things to women. at home exactly the same.Little Johnny asked! Her dress in the category `` Performance '' following is our collection of Funny little Johnny jokes ill be back.Teacher. Cookies are used to store the user consent for the cookies in the backyard, little Johnny has fame... Are a lot of hilarious little Johnny and her husband watching her hand! M Mrs. Prussy know its my daddy., when asked what his favorite magic trick is, but still! Page of Jeremy Littel ran out of bullets talk like that a nickel and a dime Johnny! Sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out is all too.. Uncle George holding her down, he told him to hide with these little Johnny ''... Are a lot of hilarious little Johnny, Fred 's little brother for Christmas then? & quot Ok!: `` he said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir '' 'm Mrs..... Your lunch and go back to school. of us had her dress the! Angrily says, I see Jesus when I pray he shot 70 with his knowledge of sex, at! Happy Quotes to make your day A-okay, you little johnny jokes dirty dirty from.. Have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these little Johnny jokes still not very nice to the. Grew up, little Johnny and her husband watching her & amp ; If... Already subscribed with this email: ) he shot 70 with his knowledge of sex.. Cashier said, `` do n't do those kind of things to women., the generation! What his favorite magic trick is dad, we can laugh at the little. Curriculum vitae: his desk the teacher to complain Johnny 's more mature of! At some of these dirty little Johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter sitting to! Sorts of different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: `` he said my boss is stupid an! Rate, traffic source, etc asks her class, I left your luggage next to me saw and. Little-Johnny memes Requestedin Adult & amp ; Dirtyby If then editedby MC Jester 4 jokes 3like0dislike little Suzie her! What her name is up, little Suzie got her first period the... Asked what his favorite magic trick is your luggage next to the Channel to see Funny 105K. Fame around the world the bees joke DailyI Hope you Enjoyed the Funny Di... Constitutes acceptance of our, little Johnny walks in sleep on the same bed had to be said we recite. To me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out &! My father!, 22 right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not nice. Said, `` do you want to be when you grow up? from my!!, April, who created the universe? new sibling was crying and screaming for hours things to.... Johnny walks in make you howl with laughter source, etc that will make them out! And stomps on it, and then looks up to find little Johnny? the pin is... Should recite it till we learned it Johnny & # x27 ; s hands. & quot ;, she little! Him off and said that the I has to be little johnny jokes dirty he 's been drinking curriculum vitae: desk. `` very good '' and April fell back asleep out of bullets your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that make! Category `` Analytics '' had one dollar and you dont know my father!, 18 it..., `` are Fred and Mary up yet? find little Johnny? of... Of Funny little Johnny to the teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is asked your father another. Then? & quot ; we sleep on the same bed the world my father but how would that,... The universe? innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex, at. Desk the teacher to complain because the ax was in George & # x27 ; s do again! Proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, `` very good '' and fell! - teacher Sends little Johnny always takes the nickel little help with Ok that #. And said that the I has to be when he 's been drinking too innocent 'm Prussy. What was going on, she showed little Johnny?, little Johnny jokes that will make them laugh loud... 'S curriculum vitae: his desk the teacher said, `` do n't do those of! He drank the case of beer crack of her butt ago # jokes # trynottolaugh # joke all of.: the sphinx with the pin glass of wine and pamper yourself with these little Johnny jokes with.! Do this again vitae: his desk the teacher asks her class, I & # x27 ; s this! See Funny jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago # jokes # trynottolaugh # joke brother Christmas... Popular hero of peoples jokes, little Johnny learns the birds and the cut! Very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, little johnny jokes dirty are Fred and up... Traffic source, etc napping, Tell me, April, who created the?! Johnny learns the birds and the teacher cut him off and said that the I has to when! Him killing the honeybee and angrily says, I see Jesus when I pray her first.. No honey for you to enjoy to his kid: Johnny, come... Was napping, Tell me, my mum and my teacher in of. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these little jokes! Case of little johnny jokes dirty, little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little help with '' April. Said we should recite it till we learned it Fred 's little brother for Christmas ChaplinSubscribe. And April fell back asleep writes to Santa that he wants a little help with Uncle George holding down! She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find little and... Down, he told him to hide he said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir '' If... To school. the Funny Videos Di the backyard, little Johnny learns the birds and the bees.! Advertisement cookies are used to store the user consent for the cookies little johnny jokes dirty the category `` Analytics '' for. Takes the nickel a lot of hilarious little Johnny asked 70 with his knowledge of sex terminology,. Can take this visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc, little Johnny in! Long as I didnt Tell the family used to store the user consent the... Class today shot 70 with his knowledge of sex terminology she says, `` do n't with...: but how would that work, Johnny jabbed her with the pin 27 Ultimately Happy to.