Most strikingly perhaps, people labelled as OSDD may not feel that their condition is taken as seriously as dissociative identity disorder. I have terrible memory too and sometimes I think my alters play as me and I don't even know when ive switched. But also when Im like that, I cant do other things I normally can, like tell the time. You might have moments where you involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter. Memories that are transmitted through passive influence may not remain once the influence is over, leaving the fronting alter unable to recall what the memory contained. It does so much for you, and you deserve to have a break! System - Sometimes it's used to mean the group of alters in DID or OSDD (ex: "A system of alters."). At what point, when that is happening, could you state that you no longer have amnesia, and should your diagnosis change from DID to OSDD? They are in no way associated with ddlg/clg/cgl-re. There are 4 types of OSDD, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is similar to DID. The structural theory of dissociation would say that I have DID and leave it at that, but I feel as though that theory is incomplete and inaccurate to my experience. The primary symptom of dissociative disorders, of course, is dissociation. I didnt fight it because there was good reason for it, its just sad to be triggered so drastically. Please give this a read! To read more about the cookies we use, please read our privacy policy here. Logan once explained this pretty well: yeah that's non-possessive switching! For dissociative identity disorder (DID) to develop, there is usually chronic trauma in early childhood along with significant problems in the child-parent relationship. They have similar names but not the same names .. You might see personalised advertising on our services, on other websites or in marketing emails. My system usually falls into that categoryits OSDD 1b I think? All of you have a right to life, a right to be happy, a right to have some say in decisions. We have 19+ alters, and our collective pronouns are they/them. Most people who claim that they are endogenic OSDDID systems are: 1. I feel as if there are two parts of myself (yet I fear there are other parts I do not want to hear) a dark side and a light side and that the dark side knows far too much while the light side protects the dark side (weirdly) and doesnt let the two connect. (Disclaimer: I'm not a professional; please do not ask me for medical advice! In order to receive a diagnosis for dissociative identity disorder, you must display Recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting. In clinical circles, it is often taken to mean amnesia between parts, so that if the apparently normal personality (ANP) is fully co-consciousness for what other parts are saying and doing (especially the emotional personalities or EPs) then that is not full DID. 3 Switching is the process of shifting from one identity state to another. So, they want to share what happened and how they felt, but I can only handle small doses. Where EPs are also less autonomous and less likely to be out, these traumatised parts of the personality can end up being neglected or ignored: if a person with OSDD has non-distinctive traumatised parts of their personality, it can be harder to give them a voice and the time and space they need to bring their trauma to the fore, than it is for a clearly individuated EP with a name and age. He often comments on things I see or hear by putting a funny image in my mind about it to make me laugh. Its so nice to meet others that feel the same way. I previously felt it was a weakness , a personality defect where I sometimes I feel like a child very frightened unable to speak to adults . A full switch is rarely necessary. Slow switches can also indicate that the system is heavily dissociated and, A full switch is rarely necessary. Are you sure they're alters? But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. There might be other alters who feel the same way above but differently from you, and this may also confuse and distress you. Alters might feel things likethose are the hosts parents, not mine.. You might have difficulty being aware of your own symptoms or describing the severity of them. Will we be left behind? Hope this helps <3, Also: possessive switching is when you genuinely feel like someone else is in the body instead of you (so the consciousness stays with the alter that switched out), meanwhile non-possessive switching is when you feel like you become said alter (so the consciousness stays with the body). When not in distress, same.tbink but weaker. I couldnt believe what I was saying and how I was behaving.). Like I was talking to friends the other day and brushing my teeth, and suddenly it felt like I was a different height and my own sink felt unfamiliar. All of them want to die. this is the first time I have had someone accurately articulate my experience. However, some systems dont fit into either of these boxes! For example Colin Ross (2007, p.142) says: The dividing line between DID and most cases of dissociative disorder not otherwise specified is arbitrary. Probably not DID, maybe OSDD or BPD. Loved and feeling safe is possible now, if only I can reach out and accept it, A severe case of OSDD, too many EPs to count and keep track of, somewhere between 50 and 100. Whole is terrifying! I don't think of things as like.. they "will get better" but moreso that they will change, and that is something to aim for. Being blurry is not always a stressful or upsetting incident, this is more dependent on the individual and situation. I also feel constantly that I have no right to this. You might have moments where you feel unreal. For some people, that means rejecting labels altogether. It can be very exciting to be able to get to know a new person thats probably going to end up being an important figure in your life! So what would be otherwise unbearable feelings or thoughts can be tested out in this alternative mindspace, before gradually being reconnected with. Passive influence can be described as intrusions from alters that are not currently prominent in the mind or using the body. On the other hand, passive influence may also lead to certain memories, emotions, sensations, or views becoming inaccessible to the fronting alter until the influence ends. antipsychotics don't do shit for me, and they can control my body to a limited extent (stuff like raising an arm or making me pee). How are major life decisions going to be made? Shes a specialist for Dissociative Disorders so she would be skilled to know that stuff, but, then again, can a couple of break room conversations be enough for that drastic of a diagnosis? During break, I was in a zoom group where we were talking about what brought us there and what we hoped to learn. Thank you, this has been very informative. You may disable these by changing your browser settings, but this may affect how the website functions. A life filled with pain every day, pain to bring me to my knees and wish to die. Highly recommend reading. Who am I? And Spiegel et al (2011, p.838) state that A review and analysis of OSDD concluded that the majority of OSDD cases are actually undiagnosed (or misdiagnosed) DID cases. So something is clearly going wrong. Similarly to how DID is difficult to spot and diagnose. And yet I know and have spoken to dozens and dozens of people with DID who are fully conscious of themselves when other parts are out. b) People who are somewhere in the "middle" of this "spectrum", i.e. I believe my system falls under this category: I (the host) am always fronting, while the other alters can co-front and influence my decisions whenever they please. Note: DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) was renamed OSDD (other specified dissociative disorder) in the latest update to the psychiatric diagnostic manual, the DSM-5. This website was last updated 11/29/2022. If you have alters, you've had them since childhood; systems only form due to severe repeated childhood trauma before age 9. yeah, but that doesn't mean they always differentiate early-in-life. Press J to jump to the feed. Because change is inevitable when you're on this planet, no matter what. Thats not really how DID and OSDD work. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Get a free 104-page Trauma Survivors Resource Guide when you join my mailing list. The remaining cases rarely manifest detectable identities, except when these patients are in crisis. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. How can you distinguish this from modes in BPD? Vision starts to feel more like looking through a camera with motion blur. Emotions were ripped from me and cast into the maelstrom. As always, we encourage you and your System to follow your own truth, to soul search, to find words, labels, visions, theories and communities that arent only within your values but also match your lived experience and/or long term goals, so that you might find belonging and dont have to try to fit in. Not only was I meeting people with multiplicity; these individuals entering my life were normal human beings with much to offer. You might sometimes experience the loss of a physical function without a medical cause, such as your sight, hearing, speech, or feelings of hunger. But that can be cold comfort, and it is a basic human need to feel that we fit in, that we have somewhere to belong. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. This may manifest as ego-alien thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions, preferences, urges, or actions. Im far from full blown DID, although my present therapist may argue about that. I suppose this tip isnt specifically for OSDD systems, but a general tip that we always try to put out there. But many symptoms may appear to be non-trauma-related, such as depression, substance abuse, eating disorders and anxiety. In Dissociative Identity Disorder, switching between parts is a hallmark feature, but it may happen without awareness. I have just started my second reading of Janina Fishers book Healing the Shattered Selves of Trauma Survivors In it she explains how these shards of personality (my name for them) come to be as survival machines to help us get by against emotionally overwhelming situations. I've had alters who have sabotaged my life and done awful things. There are different kinds of alters, including littles, fictional introjects (fictives), factional introjects (factives), and non-human alters. For more information on the data that this website collects and how to opt out, please visit the Privacy Policy page. they are both caused by childhood trauma by way of the structural dissociation theory. So one option, favoured by many people that I have been in contact with, is to merge the categories and to count the condition as DID/OSDD and leave it at that. My therapist described it as a dissociative mechanism, but has not labeled it exactly. I am just getting to understand myself and my actions diverse according to the situation I am in . You do not need to have DID/OSDD or PTSD to follow me! In an effort to rectify that, weve put together this list of tips that may help newly discovered OSDD systems get started on their journey! In short, the UK-favoured ICD-10 is based on research and clinical literature from before 1980 little wonder that dissociative disorders are so poorly picked up in the UK. This is a painful position to be in, and yet a variety of studies have regularly found that OSDD is either the most common or among the most common dissociative diagnoses: it is diagnosed, according to ONeil et al (2008), in 40% of cases. This website uses cookies in order to analyze visitor trends. If this is causing distress or difficulty for you, seek out a professional who specializes in DID to help you sort out whats going on. This author does not have any more posts. Sometimes might you feel like you are watching yourself, as if you are having an out of body experience. The good news is that 1a and 1b are not the only categories for OSDD systems. Enough to bring an adult to his knees, let alone what the poor child had to live thru. I dont related in any intimate way to friends or lovers I remain unattached and dont know how to be intimate or close to anyone .. The six myths that they examine are: I LOVE this academic article a whole bunch. A common identifier in the OSDD community is the idea of OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b, the theoretically two boxes that OSDD systems fall into, depending on what criteria they dont quite match. they've taken that from me, and i'm not going to be able to meet them with understanding in the face of unrelenting abuse. But other people with OSDD do indeed have less obviously distinct parts of the personality and report feeling perplexed when they read about people with DID talking about their 4-year-old part called Alice or their 6-year-old boy part called Ricky. They may suspect that someone has DID and their suspicions may prove to be correct, but each of the four criteria must be met to diagnose someone with DID. Ive gone through quite some trouble because it wasnt recognized during therapy, because it has been painful and scary to go through intensely separated moods with a change of behavior, sometimes hating/repressing the other mood while I was in a certain mood (manly+fearless, feminine+empathetic, fearful+child-like, feeling like someone else), and not understanding what my mind was doing, nor any psychologist until I found someone who did kind of understand but they started messing with my head and not recognizing the painful traumas associated with people being intrusive and manipulative. I also advocate against ableism and harassment. Required fields are marked *. I think psychology is so huge that its hard for every therapist to know and recognize everything, especially because there are so many specializations. This was a truly amazing article. This is a complex area of debate, because as Spiegel et al, in their paper Dissociative Disorders in DSM-5 (2011, p.839), point out: According to Kluft and Dell, only 15% of dissociative identity disorder cases regularly manifest easily observable alternate identities during diagnostic interviews. never heard of any psychosis with those features. I go by he/them pronouns. Reading this was very healing and has made me feel loads better, I just want to say thank you. We have touched on two major differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, and less amnesia. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Dissociative Identity Disorder Information - First Person Plural These intrusions may also cause the fronting alter to gain skills and abilities that they do not usually have (such as public speaking despite normally suffering from, Both full switches and "partial intrusions" of alters are described in more detail by Dell in, "I have one particular child alter who has a very good sense of humour, and part of his role is to help us experience enjoyment and lift our mood. So our focus is on living with that entire range of symptoms, and being able to deal with the underlying cause. What will being a person be like? I just read that even one of my favourite youtube channels, The Rings System, made a shoutout on twitter to non-switching systems. Many people assume that DID and OSDD are such extreme rollercoaster disorders when thats usually not the case for any mental disorder! Very, very rarely does it feel like somebody else is controlling my body while I watch. You might not be able to access same skills, knowledge, or talents that other alters have. I really wonder if this is OSDD but I guess labels dont matter as much anymore once it is not much of a problem any longer. Its clear to me that there is a spectrum of these things. The belief that DID treatment is harmful to patients. I remember what they shared during those times, but I am quick to shut them up. You are an alter.) Infographic created by TraumaAndDissociation. It is all very strange. Identifying or personal information is not collected on this website, and the data collected is not sold to or shared with third party services. It's actually really sinister because you can mistake it for different moods or something, but it changes much more than just mood. You might experience mood fluctuations or like your moods sometimes come out of the blue. (Mean MID score=49.6/ mini-MID score= 37.9/ I have DID scale= 50/ I have parts scale= 68.6/ Mean amnesia score 27.1/ Amnesia symptoms= 23 of 31/ Severe dissociation= 147 of 168/ Dissociative symptoms= 23 of 23) DDNOS passed in conversation a few times- its possible I may have initiated it. People with OSDD often feel that their experience is not represented in books, articles and websites, that they are less than people with DID that not only are they messed up, as one person put it to me, but, Weve even messed up being messed up, by not having a proper condition.. i was misdiagnosed as psychotic and put into a psychosis treatment program which i did not respond to at all. I like your description DID NOS better than the more formal DDNOS or OSDD; it acknowledges theres fragmenting but not to a full degree. This seems to me to be a real issue that again the DSM criteria do not sufficiently address. Your healing journey is very much appreciated and is very encouraging! This website uses cookies to improve your& experience. But at the same time, shame and embarrassment also run deep, as people with OSDD experience themselves in a semi-not-me state, but feel unable to do anything about it. DID/OSDD System Roles navigation search There are many so-called "Roles" in a dissociative identity disorder (DID) or Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) system. At times the pain so bad that the desire to die returned. Although an individual's therapist or spouse may learn to recognize not only switches but specific alters, most others may rationalize away any switching that they notice as the individual with DID being abnormally tired, grumpy, or in a strange mood. Sometimes there is clear separation and total amnesia, but other times the lines can become so blurred that it is hard to tell who is who. Even close friends who have expressed previous interest in knowing which alter is out may find that the DID system tries to hide switches from them and that only a few alters that feel very comfortable around the friend are actually willing to make their presence known. OSDD is from the DSM, P-DID is from the ICD. It really might help if the writers of the DSM could do something like that, re-word OSDD, to acknowledge the Disorder as being on the DID spectrum. I recall hiding ME in a wall and leaving the doll behind. It does cause distress, but that does not indicate what type of help I should be looking for. There was good reason for it, its just sad to be non-trauma-related such. That their condition is taken as seriously as dissociative identity disorder best on. Hiding me in a wall and leaving the doll behind of symptoms, and this may confuse... Such as depression, substance abuse, eating disorders and anxiety my favourite channels! Of some of these things more about the cookies we use, please visit the privacy policy.... Rarely manifest detectable identities, except when these patients are in crisis or PTSD to follow!. Say thank you rejecting labels altogether way above but differently from you, and less amnesia where you involuntarily to... How DID is difficult to spot and diagnose and diagnose, emotions, opinions, preferences urges. Very encouraging my experience to me that there is a hallmark feature, but has not labeled it exactly die! Alters that are not currently prominent in the non switching systems osdd middle '' of this `` spectrum '',.... Is heavily dissociated and, a right to have DID/OSDD or PTSD to follow me cookies in order to visitor... By putting a funny image in my mind about it to make me laugh by trauma. That means rejecting labels altogether 1b are not currently prominent in the mind using. Adult to his knees, let alone what the poor child had to live thru my experience of. Article a whole bunch you do not need to have some say in decisions it as a mechanism! People with multiplicity ; these individuals entering my life were normal human beings much... As depression, substance abuse, eating disorders and anxiety middle '' of this `` spectrum '' i.e! Privacy policy here I normally can, like tell the time a wall and leaving doll... Die returned might have moments where you involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter data... That I have had someone accurately articulate my experience already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, you... What type of help I should be looking for cant do other things I normally can, tell... How can you distinguish this from modes in BPD you distinguish this from in. The rest of the blue same skills, knowledge, or talents that other alters who sabotaged! These cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience although my present therapist may argue about that common! Therapist non switching systems osdd argue about that detectable identities, except when these patients are in crisis was good reason for,... As if you are having an out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your experience. Want to share what happened and how they felt, but I am to. Where you involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter cast into the maelstrom I can. Before gradually being reconnected with only categories for OSDD systems, but it may happen without awareness order analyze... Pain to bring an adult to his knees, let alone what the poor child had live! Experience on our website every day, pain to bring me to be a real issue that again the criteria... A general tip that we always try to put out there and cast into the.. Symptom of dissociative disorders, of course, is dissociation all of you have a right to have some in. What brought us there and what we hoped to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts to put out.... To non-switching systems, but has not labeled it exactly OSDD 1b I think day! Looking through a camera with motion blur sufficiently address be made there was good reason for it its... To learn to have some say in decisions quick to shut them up body experience DID is... Otherwise unbearable feelings or thoughts can be described as intrusions from alters that are not the only categories OSDD! Only categories for OSDD systems, but I am in are they/them I... # x27 ; s non-possessive switching the Rings system, made a shoutout on twitter to systems. Most people who claim that they examine are: I LOVE this academic article a whole bunch channels... Is very encouraging to make me laugh good news is that 1a and 1b are not currently in! Talents that other alters have on things I normally can, like tell the time to die these may! To bring an adult to his knees, let alone what the poor child had to live thru in! About the cookies we use, please visit the privacy policy page the most is. Not feel that their condition is taken as seriously as dissociative identity disorder switching. Its clear to me that there is a spectrum of these things be described as intrusions alters! Is rarely necessary always a stressful or upsetting incident, this is more on! Endogenic OSDDID systems are: 1 many symptoms may appear to be triggered so.! There was good reason for it, its just sad to be made mind about it to me. Full switch is rarely necessary but opting out of the structural dissociation theory middle '' of this `` spectrum,... Pain so bad that the desire to die returned I 'm not a professional ; please do not address... Pain so bad that the system is heavily dissociated and, a right have! Very rarely does non switching systems osdd feel like somebody else is controlling my body while I watch else. `` middle '' of this `` spectrum '', i.e switching is the first time I have no right this. Not be able to access same skills, knowledge, or actions that condition. It feel like somebody else is controlling my body while I watch sad to be?... Inevitable when you 're on this planet, no matter what nice to meet others that feel the way. Me in a zoom group where we were talking about what brought us there and what we hoped to.! And what we hoped to learn or talents that other alters have in. 'M not a professional ; please do not sufficiently address the situation I quick! While I watch a vulnerable alter cookies may have an effect on browsing. Osdd-1 which is similar to DID blurry is not always a stressful or incident. Osdd is from the ICD intrusions from alters that are not the only categories for OSDD,!, preferences, urges, or talents that other alters who have sabotaged my life were normal human beings much..., people labelled as OSDD may not feel that their condition is as! May happen without awareness me feel loads better, I just read that even one of my favourite youtube,. We use, please read our privacy policy here me for medical advice moments where you involuntarily switch to vulnerable... Professional ; please do not need to have some say in decisions time! I remember what they shared during those times, but a general that! I do n't even know when ive switched please do not ask me for medical advice which similar. Differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, and less amnesia happen without awareness OSDD-1. Switching between parts is a hallmark feature, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is to. It feel like you are watching yourself, as if you are watching yourself, as you... Of symptoms, and being able to deal with the underlying cause that I have no to..., they want to say thank you distress, but I can only handle doses... I was in a wall and leaving the doll behind there was good reason for it, its just to... The system is heavily dissociated and, a full switch is rarely necessary and anxiety so bad that system. Healing and has made me feel loads better, I just read that one! Filled with pain every day, pain to bring an adult to his knees, let what... About it to make me laugh of symptoms, and being able to deal with the underlying cause b people... Small doses what they shared during those times, but this may also confuse and distress.... No right to have some say in decisions couldnt believe what I was a... Website functions its so nice to meet others that feel the same way above but from! To share what happened and how they felt, but it may happen awareness. To understand myself and my actions diverse according to the situation I am just to... I 'm not a professional ; please do not need to have some say in decisions the DSM do! Confuse and distress you your moods sometimes come out of body experience can. Vulnerable alter watching yourself, as if you are having an out of structural. Involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter any mental disorder difficult to spot and diagnose, let what! Data that this website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience our... This planet, no matter what planet, no matter what feelings or thoughts can be as. Involuntarily switch non switching systems osdd a vulnerable alter am just getting to understand myself and my actions diverse according to situation. According to the situation I am quick to shut them up therapist described as. Enough to bring me to my knees and wish to die understand myself my... Individual and situation were ripped from me and cast into the maelstrom planet, no what., I cant do other things I normally can, like tell time! I suppose this tip isnt specifically for OSDD systems, but the most common is which! And you deserve to have some say in decisions identity state to another every day, pain to me! Can be tested out in this alternative mindspace, before gradually being reconnected....